I no sooner see a book: I need it! [Even though I’ll never read it], Books in any binding, any font; Though it’s always my ambition To acquire a first edition — I never met a book I didn’t want!
Of my rivals in the chase: (God bless ’em!) How I long to dispossess ’em — Dreams of bookish burgling haunt my sleep, Though the smell of vellum lingers On a dreaming felon’s fingers — I never dreamt a book I didn’t keep!
‘Would you care to borrow this?’: I have it! (Swear me out an affidavit!) Flattery finds fools who never learn; Those who loan ’em — losers weepers! I disown ’em! Finders keepers! — I never took a book I could return!